Insulting Every Country Equally

Via we live our lives among giants, a web page titled “Conan O’Brien Hates My Homeland.”

It’s a long list of insults directed at virtually every country in the world, except for those that come alphabetically after Russia.

Some examples:

Albania

The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service

Algeria

It took you eight years to beat France

Azerbaijan

Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals

Bahrain

A thriving centre of trade and culture... until 2000 BC!

Belgium

The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium

Botswana

Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35

Central African Republic

So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for “Poach me”

Democratic Republic of Congo

Where even a poor boy with no prospects can grow up to be run over by a presidential motorcade

Cuba

Where “high-tech” means you’ve got a radio on your homemade raft

El Salvador

Where no resumé is complete without the phrase “Supervised six-person death squad”

Finland

You’ve had over 5,000 years of culture, and the world’s most famous Finn is still Huckleberry

Grenada

When you’re at the end of a grueling fifteen-hour day peeling the husks off nutmeg, remember this: without you, the world would have to sprinkle its eggnog with cinnamon

Guinea

Even guinea pigs have the good sense to claim they’re actually from Peru

Haiti

You just celebrated two hundred years of independence. Congratulations. Now make a wish and blow out your burning pile of tires

Italy

The newspapers are reporting a miracle. Apparently, a statue of Mary moved her hand and said, “I just worked harder than 80% of your workforce”

Kyrgystan

If your country could afford vowels, you could spell “this place sucks”

Mongolia

Where Chinese freedom meets Siberian comfort

The Netherlands

Congratulations, you’ve turned 500 years of culture into a pot joke

The page is certainly politically incorrect. Insulting. Gross.

Read the whole thing!